I watched our kids playing duck duck goose outside and running around. I couldn’t fully participate, but I held things for people. One boy gave me his toy to keep safe. But part of me wanted to do more than smile, laugh, and cheer on everyone else. I wanted to jump in the game and be chased and knocked over by a child I love. Oh well. I take the gift of being physically present and emotionally and verbally invested and turn it into joy.
I revisited these words in my journal. I just wrote them yesterday, but I’ve been thinking about the moment since it happened on Sunday.
Every now and then something about my limits hits me. It can take me a while to process what I’m actually feeling and the why behind it.
Sunday morning I felt off before I even arrived to church. I guess I started that day tired and not fully ready for a morning with the kindergarteners. The weather was beautiful so we took them outside. We were all having fun and enjoying this chance to be in the sunshine.
Then I had a moment and I decided to sit with it. Why was I sad when there was plenty of joy before me? Because I wanted more from that moment. I felt and saw my limits. I briefly wished I could hop out of my wheelchair and run around like everyone else. And I would have rolled down the grassy hill with the other boys. That looked like something I would love. Simple adventures. Great joy.
I sped after one boy and laughed with him as he rolled back and forth. Oh the fun of childhood. I was glad to be a part of that moment and the whole morning.
I also realized as I journaled that it’s okay to be sad right in the middle of a happy moment. It’s okay to feel my limits. Because maybe that brief sadness is what really teaches me joy.
I can ask, where is the deep joy? What is the reason to be thankful here and now?
Before the moment passes by, look for the grace. Choose the joy.
The gifts from God are bigger and better than our sadnesses, our weaknesses, and our limitations.
Can you see them today?
I’m going to keep searching and writing in my journal because I can find them. God leads us back to His perspective whenever we are ready.
Before the moment passes by, sit in it. Learn from it. He is there with you.
The word for this Five Minute Friday post was “pass.”
“Before the moment passes by, look for the grace. Choose the joy.
The gifts from God are bigger and better than our sadnesses, our weaknesses, and our limitations.
Can you see them today?”
This is so, so good. Such a challenging reminder that we need to choose joy. I was reminded recently that hope is not a fruit of the Spirit, but rather something we have to fight for. I love your observation that we can feel the sad even in the midst of the happy because it teaches us. I want to be more aware in my daily life to all I am being taught, rather than just pushing through to the next thing. Thank you!
Thanks, Carey! Glad to have you visit. Journaling really helps me to be more aware and understand what God is teaching me or trying to tell me…because I don’t always listen well. 😉 The joy is usually right there though. Hope you have a great week!
“Choose the joy” – I love this. I think so much of life is in the choices we make and how we react to whatever gets thrown our way.
Blessings to you!
Good point, Amy. The choices and our reactions play a big role in perspective. May you see lots of the joy moments before you!
Your revelation of wanting to get out of your chair and romp with the children is something I’ve always wondered about. Thank you for sharing your true feelings. I too, would love to have seen you out playing without your limitations. Your thoughts touched my heart. I love the way you can turn a sad moment to joy. I enjoyed reading about that moment…I have often wished that for you. Keep sharing, Laura. It’s good for everyone to read!!! Love, Aunt Sandra
Thanks, Aunt Sandra! Appreciate you sharing as well. I do wonder and imagine things on occasion. Thankfully the sad moments are small and I can make my way to the other side…and see the joy.
Once again your honesty takes my breath away. You are an amazing woman. It is in walking our dark and our light that gives us the strength and power to have more joy and more love. Thank you for being a balance of truth and light.
Yes, the darkness and hard days make the light that much brighter and the joy deeper.