Facing my limits isn’t something new for me. However, life with a physical disability looks and feels different as an adult in a way. I’m not hopping on a school bus every day. I’m not interacting with many of the same people I knew in childhood. I’m no longer living on a college campus away from my hometown. All of that is in my past and it was good. But I grew up. I became an adult.
I entered my 20s (and now my 30s) and I started to wrestle with my limitations. It’s not that I wanted to erase any part of my story. I am who I am because of every piece of my journey. I just felt these questions in my heart. I saw things I wanted to do. I found a variety of dreams I hadn’t necessarily put to words before.
What would I want to do? If I didn’t have Arthrogryposis, if I didn’t need others in the day-to-day details, what could I imagine?
Several years ago I began to write. The poems poured out of me. I had a lot I wanted to understand. And I gave myself permission to dream.
This is a poem from that year, the year I grew up a little more, the year I realized I needed writing. It was, and still is, a way for me to process, a space for me to be completely honest with myself and then others.
These are the simple dreams I long to do:
simple dreams i long to do
instead i must rely on you,
or try to change my point of view…
take a trip, drive a car,
visit friends who live afar,
cook a meal, do my hair,
have no need for a wheelchair,
ride a bike, run a mile,
take friends’ kids for a while,
reach a book, live on my own,
have extended time alone,
walk barefoot, wear other shoes,
leave town whenever i choose,
such things i can only dream,
waiting for the one to redeem.
What are some of your simple dreams?
You can create your own version of this poem right now. Download a blank poem and get ready to post it on Facebook and/or Instagram this Friday. We’ll share our poems and bravely share our dreams. Add the hashtag #simpledreams so we can follow along and see those dreams, big or small.
Come back next Tuesday for Part Two!